354: Black Out Riff: How To Show Up For Yourself
This message came in SO loud and clear to share with you today!
I'll leave it at that and let you listen to the episode! ;)
Links
Full Transcript
Welcome to the star singer podcast, taking singers from overthinking and overwhelmed to loving your voice. yourself and the way that you sing. I'm Tiffany van Bokstel. And in the last 17 years, I've taught one on one lessons to as many as 50 singers a week. That's thousands of voice lessons. And I'm so excited to share.
What works with you because singing is simple. You're just overcomplicating it. So let's get started All right. I'm calling this a blackout riff because I don't even know what i'm going to say right now I did not plan this but here's the thing. I got this Incredible hit to share this With you. So here I am Doing the thing and hopefully it inspires you to do the thing You So what would it look like for you as a singer if you just showed up for yourself?
Like what would that even look like? Does that mean doing the things that you say you're going to do? Does that mean practicing? Does that mean finally Investing in a voice coach. Does that mean, you know, just even going up on stage and singing a karaoke song, does that mean having the confidence to sing your child to sleep after your choir teacher in high school told you that you just don't have what it takes?
Like what does it mean for you to actually show up for yourself because I know you and I know that you're really Hard on yourself. I'm gonna challenge you and say that you're hard on yourself for the wrong things Okay, you're hard on yourself for the way that you wish that you would sound for The way that, like, you wish you could sing in tune 100 percent of the time, which, Newsflash, is completely impossible.
You know, you
are hard on yourself for not having it go the way, in a performance, that it does in a practice session. But are you ever hard on yourself for the fact that you decided not to show up? This is I mean, this is a tough love moment here. So I do a lot of things, right? I am a part time elementary music teacher.
And I teach a bunch of voice lessons. I do this podcast once a week and I train martial arts. So I train Krav Maga, Jiu Jitsu, and Muay Thai. Although I only have time to do like two, two of those disciplines at once because otherwise it's just too much. And another thing that I do is I do sales in the martial arts world.
And let me tell you, The excuses. There are so many excuses that you could possibly have. And I'm saying this with love. Now isn't the right time. Will now ever be the right time? Has there ever been a time in your life in the past five years that you haven't been busy? Maybe during COVID when we watched every single Netflix show that there was, I thought, I thought I finished Netflix to be honest with you at some point, but we were still having lessons online and it was great, but honestly, is there ever gonna be time or do you just have to make time and are you ever gonna sound exactly the way that you want to?
No, but you just have to get over it because you will get better. And you can be proud of yourself for showing up when you show up to your voice lesson every week for a year, especially if you take voice lessons with me, you're gonna get better. There is no way that you're not going to get better if you are practicing something every single day.
If you're showing up, you are going to be a more confident singer and a more confident person just because you prove to yourself that you show up every time you say you will. When you don't show up, here's, you want to be a confident singer, but you don't show up. Tough love, tough love, right? So let's get hard on yourself for the right things.
Give yourself more grace when it comes to your voice. and more discipline when it comes to showing up. And showing up for yourself can look however, however it's supposed to look, right? However you want it to look, but you have to commit to it. You can't say, I don't feel like doing it today. Because that's not showing up.
That's doing the opposite of showing up. You know, like when you don't want to go to the gym and you feel like crap and then you go to the gym and you feel better and you feel proud of yourself. A lot of times practice is like that because it's really easy to be inspired and to be motivated when you're motivated and inspired.
But who are you when you aren't motivated and inspired? The singers who show up during that time, you are gonna be the one that gets better. You're gonna be the one who feels like a confident singer. Because if you can put forth your best, if you can bring joy to yourself through your singing or to somebody else when you just don't feel like it, how awesome are you going to be on those days that you do feel like it?
So let's think about you, and I want you to get hard on yourself for the things that actually matter. The things like showing up and give yourself more grace. And if you are showing up for yourself, that is awesome. Okay. That is seriously 80 percent of the thing. I can take the absolute worst singer in the world.
And if you have a voice lesson with me every week and you show up for yourself and you practice three to four times a week, you're going to be better than 90 percent of the people out there. Within one year, just by showing up, forgetting what you need accountability from a voice coach and from doing the thing that you said you were going to do, because a lot of a singer's confidence is built on the actions that you take.
Because when you start and you stop, and you start and you stop, and you start and you stop, it's a vicious cycle of disappointing yourself. And that's frustrating. That is the slowest way to build confidence in my opinion. So I'm encouraging you today, either you're in or you're out. And maybe this is a season where you're out and that's okay.
But if it's a season that you're in, let's go. How are you going to show up for yourself? Like, let's freaking go. Cause all you need to do is show up and you can be 90 percent better. Most of the population, well, 90 percent better. That is most of the population, right? So let's do this. What are you going to do?
How are you going to show up for yourself? And if you're ready to commit, I'm going to leave some links below to some of my favorite resources. One of them is how to start private lessons with me. One of them is how to connect with me on Instagram. Another one is this podcast. You listening to this podcast every week is a form of showing up for yourself.
So how are you going to show up and how, imagine yourself one year from now. Okay. That's my green room, the star singer green room. That's what that is. That program is designed for you to show up for yourself for one year. And the singer that you're going to be, you're not going to recognize her or him when you come out.
You're going to feel like a totally different person. I'll leave the link below for you to start your trial for one dollar. But when you show up for yourself and you commit to that program, whoo, you're going to be a totally different singer. So what are you going to commit to? And you can start small.
What are you going to commit to today? What are you going to commit to this week? What are you going to commit to this month?
And who are you going to be? And what are you going to be proud of yourself for? And what are you going to give yourself more grace for?
I'm so proud of you for showing up today.
